I had TM proofread this, and he griped at me for telling anyone this story *grins* and said I needed a disclaimer. So, here it is: This happened 20 odd years ago and we have all grown and matured a lot since then( well, some of us have ). TM was 19, I was 17 and my nephew was 15. Despite the disclaimer, he is still not fond of turkeys.
It was a beautiful spring day and early in the morning we started out on an adventure, my future hubby, my nephew and I. My nephew is just 2 years younger than me and more like my kid brother than a nephew. He had talked me into going to some caverns in Alabama and making a day trip of it. TM and I hadn't been dating long at that point and more to impress than nourish, I packed a very nice picnic lunch, complete with basket and tablecloth and cute little sandwiches with the crusts cut off, and all sorts of little goodies.
Well, we hiked up and down the caves for a very long time. To me, if you've seen one hole in the ground, you've seen em all, but the boys chatted and pointed to first one rock and then another. We listened to the tour guide's canned speech and chuckled politely at the points that were supposed to be funny. Being slightly claustrophobic, I was one very happy girl to see a sunny blue sky when we finally exited. I went to the car, retrieved the picnic basket and headed to a picnic table. I spread out the tablecloth, and set out the sandwiches and drinks and started laying out the rest of the food. We munched happily and chatted for a while then I spotted a wild turkey emerging from the woods.
"Oh wow, look" I said quietly. I fellas turned around and we watched stunned as the turkey bravely started towards us. Being the idiot that I am, I figured he was hungry and was probably used to tourists feeding him, so I threw some bread. Oh, if only I'd have known what I started! He jumped and grabbed the bread before it hit the ground then let out a loud "hoop!". Weirdest sound I ever did hear! I didn't know at the time that he was saying "Hey ya'll, we got some live ones here!"
All of a sudden the woods came alive! Turkeys started appearing from all around us. It reminded me of that scene in "Birds", where the woman is walking around with birds everywhere and nothing is really happening, but you know it's gonna, and soon.
Well, I was raised in the 'burbs, and my only experience with turkeys were the ones invited for Thanksgiving dinner, so when all the birds started closing in on us, I got a bit nervous. All three of us were peeling off and tossing bites of bread and sandwich as fast as we could, as the turkeys proceeded to come closer and closer. The turkeys were pecking at our feet by then and demanding a better lunch than what we were providing! My nephew hopped up onto the top of the table, and we followed suit. At that point, there were at least 30 turkeys gathered around our feast.
So there we were, 3 Yankee idiots standing on top of a picnic table surrounded by turkeys. They were gobbling up a storm and I was sure every turkey in the county had joined our little picnic! My future hubby and nephew were pale and looking scared. My nephew stuffed what was left of his sandwich into his pocket and said "Let's make a break for it!" Before I could get a word out "Whaa ?" he and TM were gone, running like wild men for the car. A couple of turkeys followed, but the rest just looked at me, knowing I was all that was between them and the rest of the food.
Turkeys started hopping up onto the benches and I shouted "Shoo!" at them a few times.
I figure I must have been quite the sight, standing on top of the picnic table, surrounded by turkeys and waving my sandwich at the ones brave enough to get on the table. It took me a few minutes lost in utter stupidity to realize this was a battle I was gonna lose pretty soon. I grabbed the tablecloth ends and carrying it like a big ole gunny sack, slung it over my shoulder, picnic basket and all, jumped off the table and ran like Hell for the car!
The fellas were laughing so hard I thought they were gonna wet themselves, as the turkeys chased me all the way. My nephew opened the door for me and I slammed it shut right behind me. Needless to say the air was blue in that car as I berated the fellas for deserting me and leaving me to the mercy of the gang of turkeys.
I did get the final word in, though. TM said "We just didn't know what to do. Those turkeys were crazy! We were afraid they might bite or something."
I just looked at him, fuming and said, "We'll I may have had something to fear from them, but you two didn't".
"Why's that? " my nephew wanted to know.
"Because turkeys aren't cannibals". It took them a full minute to grasp that one before they groaned and laughed.
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2 comments:
I have never heard such a thing! My goodness, they are really stealthy critters usually and very shy of humans.
Once spring, I went up to Raven's Branch to shoot some general early spring shots and came upon a flock of about 20 hens out in a field with two toms with their tails fanned. I snapped happily away until I noticed through the viewfinder some odd behavior.
Anyway...I ended up with a whole lot of turkey porn on my roll of film.
Rosie, I think those particular critters were very used to humans and probably got lots of snacks from other idiot Yankees like us. We have seen single wild turkeys since and they are always quite shy.
A friend of mine in Indiana said a few years back a State Trooper there got attacked by a tom and was scratched up pretty bad.
I dunno. I'm a gal from the 'burbs originally and the only turkey I ever saw growing up was on a platter at holidays.
I laughed about the turkey porn. Wild life will be wild, after all ;). My brother kept a few tame turkeys and the tom he had would 'court' disgarded shoes and women's purses. I learned quickly not to ever walk away from my handbag when we were outside.
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