The Dead Rose Bloometh

The year before last my children bought me a miniature red rose for Valentine's Day. It's tiny little dime sized blooms covered the small planter and I enjoyed it very much, while it lasted. Most of the plants sold around holidays are force bloomed in hot house conditions and not meant to be kept around for very long. This was no exception. Within a short period of time, the petite rose bush whithered and the leaves grew brittle and dropped. It was nude and dying, it's branches black and shriveled. Sadly, I asked TM to quietly toss it in the garbage can so as not to upset the children.

Unbeknown to me, TM didn't trash the dead plant. Instead, he sat it near the base of one of our pecan trees and left it alone. I was sitting out on the porch one day months later and he came around the house with a small plant. I looked at it and couldn't believe my eyes- the rose was alive. Fresh green growth covered the top and there were even small buds starting to emerge. A plant that I was sure had died was alive, and not only that, it was thriving. It soon bloomed and grew. I transplanted it into another pot and it kept growing.

What was once a tiny 3 inch tall bush is now over a foot tall. It's first blossom of the season is about to open fully and it has many more tiny buds. Soon, it will be alive with brilliant red rose blossoms covering the deep green leaves. All from a 'dead' plant I had long ago given up on.

I have learned a lesson from my little plant. A lesson I very badly need to incorporate into my everyday life. I tend to go with the worst in things, rather than search for the good. And I often give up far before I should. I didn't fight for the rose, or even think about trying. It was gone, it was over, move on. Mind you, it was only a little plant from my children, but I do tend to do the same in life. It's something I really need to work on.

Persevere. Giving up is all too easy.

I've been terrible..

Started the blog then promptly forgot about it.

Life has been busy. We're trying to line up another job for TM this summer so he can go back to school in the fall. He received almost a complete ride with scholarships and grants, so there is no way he's going to pass up this chance. We've just got to find him something either 2 or 3rd shift, and preferably something where he will have a little study time during his work shift. It's got to have insurance as well. I'd risk going 2 years without, but with the children being so young, 5 and 7, it would be taking a huge risk to go without. One broken arm and we could lose the house. Not a risk we're willing to take. With everything else falling into place, the $ for school, the timing...I keep telling myself to have a little faith and it will all work out. Mean while, I'm hunting every source I can find for job listings. If I could wrangle one that paid enough, I'd do the hours myself, but I just don't have enough of a work history right now to do it. TM does.

I am a bit bummed at present. I was supposed to go spend the weekend with the woman I love, but TM twisted his ankle at work and the trip had to be postponed. He's in a lace up medical boot and on crutches, and pretty doped up on pain pills, too. He'll be fine and he's feeling much less pain, but it really took all the wind out of my sails this weekend.
I miss her. Really need to feel her next to me, feel her heartbeat under my fingertips, the gentle brush of her lips across mine, the warmth of her presence..*deep sigh*..2 weeks. Two weeks and I'll be there.
When you love someone, being away from them for long periods of time is difficult. I feel her near me all the time, her love, her warmth, her strength, but it's not the same as holding her in my arms and being held.

Two weeks.

Once again into the breach, dear friends

I have had several blogs over the past few years. I've written to myself (for after all, isn't that what most journals are for, talking to oneself and quiet reflection?) since my mentor in high school recommended I start and maintain a journal. I used to write long hand, in my sloppy loopy handwriting, 'til my hand would hurt. Much easier to be long winded with a keyboard ;).

I am stuck, as I often am, with how personal to make this blog. How much of myself do I show to the people I allow to view it? My 'open and honest' policy in life has gotten me into trouble with people I care about more than once. Ranting about discord or bitching about a friend or family member, while it seems just fine in the heat of the moment, may come back to bite me on the ass. But, for now, I am going to try this; try and be as open as I am comfortable with being on here *taps computer screen*.

Wish me luck.