How Do You Make People Feel?

How do you make people feel?

This topic came to mind today. Do you know someone that just makes you smile by hearing their voice or seeing their name pop up on a yahoo message? Some people seem to carry around sunshine in their pockets. They brighten up everything. You can't help but smile when you are around them. They ease your soul and raise your spirits. Some people make you smile just by thinking about them. Then you have the opposite.

I had a friend who always brought me down. He was an interesting, but difficult guy. We became the best of friends many years ago. We'd hang out, go places together, chat online, and confide in each other. But he came with drama. There was never an ease with him. He'd drag me into his problems and several times I had to bail him out of situations he created for himself. It was a never ending cycle with him. It got to the point where the friendship became more work than enjoyment. I couldn't keep up with a friendship that took so much out of me. I felt drained every time we'd have contact. I started backing away when it became too much for me to bear and we eventually drifted apart. I haven't spoken to the man in a couple of years now. It still saddens me, the loss of that friendship.

I have some wonderful friends, people who I wouldn't hesitate to lay down my life for. Some I see all the time, some I don't see very often, and a few that I have yet to meet. I count my online buddies among my friends even if we haven't met. I have had great support during my recent troubles from some of those people. I can't thank them enough. I have felt like the dregs of the world this past month or two, like there is nothing left to redeem my much tattered and battered soul. Yet the kind words of my friends have been like life preservers thrown to a drowning woman. You can't know how much a few simple words can mean to a depressed and lost person. Thank you.

I've been very introspective lately. I guess that's probably normal considering the turns my life has taken. One of the things I have thought about is what kind of a person am I and how I make people feel. I know I need to work on myself. I am very much a flawed human being. I have a self destructive streak a mile wide and sometimes when I self destruct, I take those close with me, unintentionally. I also realize there is nothing that I dislike about myself that I can't change. Change is never easy, but it's a necessary part of life. The seasons change, life changes, people can change. And before anyone jumps to reassure me, please don't. I know I'm basically a decent person. I know I can be a good friend. I know I'm a good wife and an ok mom. But I have my issues. Hell, call them subscriptions.

The losses I have had in my life recently have been awake up call to my conscience. I want to be a better person. I need to end my self destruction. I need to be better to all those around me. I want to know that no matter the situation, no matter how hard it is, that I have done my very best. I want to be sure of the answer when I ask myself
'How do you make people feel?'